Mother's Day Gift

My husband brought in a package this morning that was left in his car yesterday and set it on the table so I wouldn't miss it when I came downstairs. The box said "Happy Mother's Day", there was no name to go with the return address either, so I was very curious to see what was inside. Inside the box was a teddy bear. Now most of you may think that a teddy bear is a teddy bear, but this bear is special. It has some weight to it, kind of like what a baby would weigh, and its dressed in a baby outfit. The bear represents my Cameron and how I can hold him whenever I want. To me this is the greatest gift I could ever recieve. I'm thankful that I know one person from the town the return address is from or else this would be slightly weird. But I do know at least one person from there and I'm so grateful for her.

God is bigger than your troubles

The title of this post is something im battling with at the moment. Tonight at church Pastor "Joe" talked about giving our troubles to God during communion, I did just that. But at the time my troubles hadn't been bothering me as much as they did once I gave them to God. Isn't it funny how that works? We are told that God is bigger than all our troubles (problems, worries etc) and that He can handle whatever we give Him, so why is it so easy to just let them go once we hand them over? I've realized we often don't fully give them over to Him because we like to be in control of our lives and its so easy to let these things consume us. Yes, I struggle with this myself. </p>

Last week I felt the urge to pray dangerously by asking God to show us where he wants us to be, and I asked some family to do the same. A day after I asked my Grandma to pray this with me, He answered my prayers. Now we don't understand what it all means yet, but something about the answer, or clue just feels right. Im still praying that He shows us where we belong in this strange world. I know wherever it is, we'll be happy.

Sweet dreams friends

So in my last post I had mentioned, okay complained, that I hadn't had my monthly visitor yet. Well, turns out I just needed to be patient and let my body do it's own thing. Although I did get it, I was a little sad that I wasn't pregnant. But I'm guessing God is trying to teach me to be even more patient that I think I am. I know someday He will bless my family and I with another baby, I just have to trust in Him that it'll happen when He sees fit. At the end of January I joined my very first bible study ever with a church I had only attended two times. I was scared out of my mind! For about a year, God has put in my heart to find a new church to grow spiritually with Him. I finally got the courage to do this, despite my husbands effort at first, so I went alone. That first service was amazing, I didn't know how much my heart was aching for sermons like that. The pastor made everything so clear to me, it felt like he was speaking directly to me. When I spoke with the pastor after the second time attending church, he informed me that the women were getting ready to start a new study. Can I be honest with you? I was scared out of my mind that first night of bible study. I was so afraid that these women would judge me and would be able to see all the hardships I had been through. I thought maybe I would been seen as someone similar to Hester Prynne, but instead of an "A" they would see "M" for miscarriage on my clothing. Boy was I ever wrong! These woman were so nice and welcoming. I had no idea that they would welcome a complete stranger to their church so openly, but they did. Over the past few months I have made new friendships. It's amazing when you open your heart to God when He is speaking you, what He will do in your life. We just wrapped the bible study up and are taking a month off before we start our summer one. So many woman have signed up that we have to have 3 different groups, one of which I am leading. If I thought my nerves were crazy attending the bible study then, I can only imagine what they will be like the day that I have to lead it by myself. I do know that God will give me the strength and right words for it, I just have to believe in Him. Since atteding the study I can tell I'm a more confident person and I know its because I had a great leader and the book was amazing in helping me realize some of the stuff I was doing was only hurting me. For example, being jealous of people who seem to have it all (cars, house, family, most of all money) but the study taught me that I'm not equipped to have what they have, both the good and bad. I just pray that I can do the new book justice and make my new friend proud in choosing me to lead this group. Enough about me for now. Have a safe Cinco De Mayo weekend!! God bless